Believe in Anything
An atheist is fishing in a boat on Loch Ness.
When all of the sudden, the Loch Ness Monster comes up and begins thrashing his boat around. The monster tosses him into the air. On his way down he shouts “God, help me!”
Everything stops. He is mere feet from the monster’s mouth. Then a loud booming voice comes from the heavens and asks: “You have not followed me for your entire life and have discouraged those who did. Why should I help you now?”
The atheist thinks for a moment before saying:
“Look, five minutes ago, I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness Monster either.”